On "A Week into New Year's Resolutions," out 1.7.20:
I wrote “A Week Into New Year’s Resolutions” about a week into my New Year’s resolutions. Staring menacingly at me from across the room were the running shoes I’d insisted on getting for Christmas. I had let yet another bag of kale spoil in the fridge. I hadn’t started a single book on my reading list. My desire to “optimize,” be productive and GET IT TOGETHER, DAMN IT, left me feeling completely defeated.
Then, in writing about all that I had left unfinished, or rather, un-started, I experienced relief. All of the shame I’d been carrying around let up, as I was able to shine a light on all of my self-imposed pressure. No one was telling me to go running every day, I had merely internalized the traps of comparison culture, societal expectations, and the old, mean voices in my head that were telling me, again, how I didn’t measure up.
This shame is toxic, and it is ever-present in our society. For so many of us, productivity and new modes of “enlightened” living have become the new keeping up with the Joneses. We’re graded, we’re pitted against one another and we’re told to always do more, not less.
But where’s the room for just existing? For our humanness? Because none of us are all one thing. You can be an advocate for both personal growth and naps. You can stress eat gummy bears and also eat kale salads. You can chase your whiskey with green juice. Our seemingly conflicting, multi-faceted nature is what makes us endearing and loveable and relatable – not the opposite. So, maybe, JUST MAYBE, let’s all resolve to lean into what’s already there. Because it’s great as it is, and heck, because life is short.
The Little Miss
"Imagine a house party where Woody Guthrie, Sam Cooke, Johnny Cash, and Fiona Apple all sing a Robert Johnson tune together... that's The Little Miss"
- The Melrose Trading Post